Quick catch up

A short post to check in.

I've had a couple of good, mostly solid training weeks. I'm in the last phase of build before "official" Ironman training starts and in some ways I feel strong and prepared.

My endurance is good (meaning I can make it though a 5 hour ride on the bike trainer) and swim distance is going well.

In other ways, I'm wondering how much progress I'm really making. My running pace has slowed back down. I'm doing strength training but don't necessarily feel any stronger. My coach is having me do long runs on Thursday evenings so I'll be a little tired from the day and will run in the dark (similar to what will happen during the Ironman). I ran 8 last Thursday and still felt like I had lead in my legs on Saturday morning when I ran 6.5.

I'm just going to keep going and logging time in the pool, saddle, shoes and gym and have a little faith in my body to do what I'm asking it to do. (It may not LIKE it, but it can get though it!)

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A observation I wanted to share:

I went to a swim technique and breakfast event about a week ago. The session was set up so the the first 45 minutes was a regular workout and the second 45 minutes was a set of technique drills. I swam in the slow lane with four other women.

The folks leading the class reorganized the lanes for the drill session in order to spread the entire group out a little more evenly. The other four women I was swimming with were moved over to different lanes and a bunch of the faster folks came in to my lane. There was no rhyme or reason to how the switches were made, the movement of people was very random.

The looks of horror on the faces of the faster swimmers being told to move down to my lane was pretty interesting. Most looked as if they had been sentenced to a Hard Labor Camp in Siberia. Or that they were being asked to swim where the water was contaminated with slow germs.

Most of the faster swimmers had not done the drill sets. I had taken a class led by the same instructors where all we DID were the drill sets. When the faster swimmers had questions about what to do, they asked each (equally as clueless) other rather than asking me or the instructor.

I found this fascinating.

I'm sort of "used" to this faster versus slower hierarchy from running. It is s funny how so many faster runners act like slower runners are "different" and not in a good way. (Well, we are different. We are slower.... yet, we still run the same way (right foot, left foot; right foot, left foot).

Yet, the great debate over whether or not folks that are slower runners or run/walkers "cheapen" events rages on. (Still don't quite understand how my taking 5 plus hours to run a marathon impacts in any way any one who runs marathons in less than 5 hours....).

I may be more aware of this now because I'm considering running with a running group again to help me prep for Fargo 1/2 marathon. This is the same running group I used to run with a few years ago, but without the slower pace group. (For a variety of reasons, the slower paced folks dropped out of this club -- so the club now is pretty speedy and talented.).

I know that I need the discipline of the group to push me. I'm excited to run with some new people that can challenge me. AND I'm concerned about looking and feeling like the old, fat slow person....with the Ironman dreams.

Time to just suck it up.

Hello Cheryl!

Last night, Hubby and I shared a lovely dinner at Buca with some of our closest running friends. Buca is an Italian eatery known for its huge, family style portions.... deeeeelicious food, fun atmosphere. We don't go there a lot -- usually just for special occasions.

What was the occasion you ask?

Most of us that bellied up to the table were kicking off our 2012 triathlon seasons by doing the Tri U Mah indoor triathlon today.

Tri U Mah has been around for eight years. I've done it every year. In fact, it was my first triathlon ever! It consists of 30 minutes each of swimming, biking and running with 10 minute transitions. What ever distance you cover during the segments is your distance for the race. It is held at the University of Minnesota's Aquatic Center, which has a terrific pool.

Heats are small -- limited to for each, so athletes get their own swim lane (AWESOME) and then we ride on stationary bikes and run on treadmills.

It is a very welcoming event and -- because it is held in February -- it is a perfect reminder for us in Minnesota that triathlon season will indeed be here before we know it.

More about the event in a bit. First, back to Buca:

It had been a while since I'd seen some of my running/tri friends. Work, travel and the holidays kept us all busy since about November. I'd been running a bit with Gary and Marcia, but hadn't connected with Mary, Cheryl or Derek much since the end of 2011.

Everyone at dinner would be doing the tri --except Derek, who has become a CrossFit enthusiast, and Mary, who would be spending the morning today doing a run and yoga with her beaux, Jim.

It was great to share the meal and to catch up. If you've ever been part of a running group or trained with others over a long period of time, you know how important your partners become to you. You are all out there, day in and day out, good weather and bad weather, getting ready for great events and events that don't quite go your way.

The folks at dinner have been part of my core training group for many years. We've done marathons, triathlons, bike events and lots of training events over the years. They've encouraged me to go further than I thought I could and put up with me when I was in less than a happy mood at about mile 22 of a training run or event. I love them all.

At one point during dinner, Cheryl said to me: "So when are you going to update your blog?"

"Huh? Someone actually still reads my blog? Wow".

I've been very lackadaisical about updating my blog. Mostly because the end of last year was such a topsy turvy one, not knowing the outcome of my job; feeling a bit let down because I bailed on Iornman; and other just general 'blah' stuff.

I didn't have much to report and so I didn't. And, honestly, the behavior sort of lined up with another behavior habit I've acquired since last fall. I think the technical term is "half-assed". I've been training at a half-assed level; I've been logging my training on a half-assed basis; I've been watching my nutrition on a half-assed basis. I've been mentally challenging myself on a half-assed level.

So when Cheryl asked me the question, I perked up a little bit.

"Hmmmm.... Maybe I should get back at it".

So, here I am blogging.....and realizing that it's now only a few months until Liberty 1/2 iron and then only a few months to Ironman. So, accountability on all fronts (full-assed, maybe) is important now.

So thanks, Cheryl. I appreciate you more than you know.

Back to Tri U Mah: I did okay, but did not PR (see above for half-assed training efforts comment. You get what you train for and, although I was swimming, biking and riding, it was more leisurely (half-assed) than it should have been). I swim .848 miles, biked 8.08 miles and ran 2.59 miles for a total of 11.508. Not sure yet where this puts me in my Age Group. Definitely was an eye opener that it is time to actually put in the time.....

Chery, Marcia, Gary, Angel, Rick, Jumper, and Bev also did well today.

My biggest cheers, though, go to Hubby. This was his second Tri U Mah, fourth indoor triathlon. Truth be told, he isn't a big fan of the water. Or better said, being IN the water. (He loves boating and sailing. It is the swimming that he could take or leave). Once he is done with the swim, he is fine. He is a good biker and a good runner, so today, he once again, mastered the beast known as The Pool and had a great showing at Tri U Mah.

I'm so proud of him I could just squeeze him! I think I will.

First big snow...

Hubby and I are hunkered down at home tonight.

We are getting our first "significant" snow for the winter 2011/2012 season. Ultimately, we are supposed to get about 3 inches of the fluffy stuff....so, all in all, not that much, but......just not really ready for it. Even if it is December 3rd and we do live in Minnesota.

Not a lot of changes to report.

Oscar is doing well. Tolerating his medicine, playing like a kitten and appearing to be totally healthy. Yea on that one.

STILL no word on what is happening with my job. We were supposed to know by the end of October ==, er.....no, November.... errrrr..... um, at this point, who knows when the final decision will be made. I have had a couple of interviews for the positions I've posted for, but no word for any of us on next steps since before Thanksgiving.

Speaking of Thanksgiving, Hubby and I took our annual trip to California to spend the holiday with my brother and his family. My younger sister and her husband came too.... our older sister wasn't able to travel this year, and I was sad about her not being able to join us.

We spent a lot of time at Stinson Beach -- walking the beach, watching the sunsets, running outside, hanging with family. It was great. I absolutely love that part of the country and if I could figure out a way to live there, I'd be there in a heartbeat.

My running continues to improve (yea), but I've been very lazy about doing much else. I "blame" travel, but what it really boils down to is the need for some time off.

But December 1st marked the ten-month countdown start to IMoo, so it is time to get my arse back in the pool and back in the saddle.

I am finalizing my race plans for next year -- have registered for a few events already and am looking forward to a healthy, injury free, happy 2012.

How about YOU?

Muy short and sweet

My last few posts have been pretty L O N G and involved.

This one should be pretty short and sweet....just a "catch up", really.

I just got back from spending some time in Naples, Florida. I was there for work, facilitating a workshop for about 25 sales people attending a 2012 Planning Offsite. (The offsite was held at a Ritz Carlton resort. Muy fancy. Muy nice. Muy expensive.....)

But the muy-est part of the trip was that I got a chance to see a very good friend of mine that moved to Naples five years ago -- Mary B.

Mary B and I met a long time ago, when we were both training to run Grandma's Marathon. We became fast, furious friends. Ran many a race together; did a lot of training together. She and her husband, Trevor, were two of a handful of friends that came to Las Vegas to attend Hubby's and my wedding....

Shortly after we were married, Trevor found a work opportunity too good to pass up that required them to move to Naples, so off they went.

Mary and I stayed in touch over the years, but we hadn't seen each other since they left Minneapolis, so it was wonderful to be able to see each other while I was in Naples.

We had dinner last night and then Mary and I got together for a run this morning. It was like old times, trotting together and sharing the details of our lives. It was muy great.

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Oscar seems to be holding his own. The medicine is keeping any fluids build up at bay and he is playing, eating and sleeping just like a 'normal' cat. He goes back in for a check up next week and I'm hoping that the disease hasn't progressed much or, better yet, that the vet made a big fat mistake and that he is fine. "More will be revealed". Muy bien.

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I had two interviews this week for jobs -- these were the standard, behavior-based questions that are routine for first interviews.

"Tell me about a time when you XXXX (successfully managed a project; had to build relationships with multiple business lines; had to deliver training to an audience that wasn't receptive, etc.). What did you to to YYYY (make it successful; ensure success; bridge gaps; identify opportunities, etc.".

Second interviews will be scheduled for after Thanksgiving, it looks like my job status will be a bit unsettled in to early December now. Still keeping my fingers muy crossed for the best.
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Speaking of Thanksgiving, I've been putting together a list of all the things I'm grateful for and am trying to review it -- and add to it -- every day.

On the top of my list is being grateful for having my health, because I know that without that, nothing else matters. Muy amen.

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Finally, my birthday is coming up. I'll finally be my 2011 USA Triathlon age -- for a few weeks, anyway. I was supposed to go to North Dakota on a girl's road trip with some friends to visit Nat, but the weather is not supposed to cooperate. So now the birthday plan is to get in a workout or two, have some cake and be very, very low key.

Sounds muy perfect.

Faith and the "New Normal"

If you pick up a newspaper, watch the news or work for pretty much any corporation in the United States, you are familiar with the term "New Normal".

It seems to mostly be associated with the economy; with the ways and means we are supposed to be getting the economic engine revving again so that people can go back to work and companies can see profits and stock prices rise. (Or, as it really seems to mean, so that companies can see profits and stock prices rise and then people can go back to work...).

Yet, no one -- not the politicians, not the heads of corporations, not most individuals -- seem to be able to define with the term really means.

What is NORMAL these days?

I believe most of us are just trying to find some stable ground again. Ground that feels solid for longer than a day or two. So we find ourselves sort of waiting it out...applying approaches from total denial to those that are difficult (right sizing; closing doors; leaving jobs/houses).

The New Normal is hard enough to define this on a macro-level -- figuring out the world at large. It is equally as difficult to define this on a micro-level -- figuring out what it means within our little lives.

Which brings me to Oscar, our 11-month old kitten.

We adopted Oscar and his sister, Kishka, last March on Hubby's birthday. The kittens were one of six that had been born in January.

After losing Kirby, Hubby's cat, very suddenly a year earlier, we finally had healed enough and decided to bring two more cats in to our house to join us, Lefty and Callie.

Hubby's son's girlfriend had a friend with a cat that had delivered a litter and after we saw pictures of the fuzz balls, we decided it was time to add to our brood.

Kishka, named after the famed Polish polka song, "Who Stole the Kishka", got her name because she too is "round and firm and fully packed". She is the smaller of the two, black and white and adorable.

Oscar is grey and fluffy. He is as outgoing and as social as they come. Loves people, loves to be in the thick of things. Loves me (follows me every where; sleeps near my head).

We have loved having them in the house and, although it took a bit of time, Lefty and Callie seem to be happy to have them with us too.

Last Saturday, we started our then "normal" day. Woke up, ate breakfast and started our day. I took some time to watch some t.v. and have some coffee and Oscar joined me on the couch.

When I got up to really get going in my day, Oscar stayed put. Slightly unusual, but nothing alarming. As the day went on, though he really didn't budge. Slightly alarming. I ran an errand and after I got home, Hubby was sitting on the couch next to Oscar.

"Has he moved since you got home?", I asked.

"Not that I noticed", replied Hubby. Now more alarming.

I noticed that Oscar's breathing was a bit labored. We decided that he must have eaten something that didn't agree with him and that he was merely sleeping it off.

We ran one more errand and when we got home on hour later, Oscar's breathing was much worse and we knew it was time to take him in to the Vet.

We've had lots of experience taking our cats in to the University of Minnesota Vet Hospital. Ungodly expensive, but the best care in the region, as far as I'm concerned.

Oscar went in about 8:00 pm and they immediately put him in oxygen and started to try to diagnose.

He wasn't stable enough for them to do much that night, but they did take an x-ay which indicated fluid around his heart, which meant either pneumonia or heart failure.

What? Heart failure? The cat is only 11-months old! How can his heart be old enough to fail? With two older cats in the family, I knew it was only a matter of time before their time would come, but OSCAR?

The news stupefied us.

We left Oscar at the U -- they started a course of diuretics to reduce the fluid and we hoped for the best.

On Sunday morning, the Vet called and said that his condition had improved dramatically (!). They were able to run a few more tests and when the called with the results, the news was bad.

Oscar has a congenital form of hypertrophic cardiomyopathy == a condition which causes the heart ventricles to become thick, which weakens the heart, which can cause heart failure.

Heart failure in cats is not curable, and we are now looking at a dramatically shortened lifespan for this tiny, loving cat. The worst case scenario gives Oscar about 3 months. The best, not much more than that, but as the Vet says, "Cats like to prove us wrong". I'm keeping my paws crossed....

What we can do, is to lessen the likelihood of fluid buildup by giving Oscar two small dosages of Lasix (a diuretic) and we can make him happy and comfortable for as long as we can.

A routine we have to build in to our "new normal" of daily life and activities.

For now, Oscar is "normal". He is eating, drinking, playing, purring and still as cuddly as ever. You wouldn't guess that there is any thing wrong with him at all. (My 'normal' reaction to this is, naturally: the diagnosis was wrong; he is fine. Some might call this denial....).


But I'm going to hold on to this for as long as I can because I can.

Before his diagnosis, I envisioned how Hubby and my lives would continue to progress as time moved us forward.

We'd continue to work (in my fantasy, I would retain my job -- a situation that is still up in the air); we'd continue to travel, to golf, I'd still do tris until I started to really look bad in spandex -- eventually we'd retire and we'd spend half the year some where warm.

In all of the scenarios that I envisioned, Oscar and Kishka were there with us, growing older with us, sharing experiences and life with us.

Now, even my future fantasy scenarios are impacted by the "new normal".

I am not happy about this -- not one bit.

What I do need to try to lean on, though, is the same thing I've been trying to lean on through all the other adjustments I've been trying to make to try to embrace the macro-New Normal -- faith.

Not the "religious" type of faith....that isn't my thing. Rather faith in that universe knows what it's doing. That there is a reason for every thing and that some how, some way it will all be okay. The outcomes may not be (and in this case definitely won't be) what I want them to be, but that there is a rhyme and reason for all things.

This belief is so easy when times are easy. Not so much when times are tough.

But I'm trying my best to believe and trying to embrace the New Normal.

Euphemisms and Lessons Learned

While I am having a very hard time wrapping my head around the fact that it is OCTOBER, we happen to be having unseasonably warm weather this week -- temps are in the 80s, so the fact that the year has flown by so quickly is a little easier to take.

The leaves are also almost in full peak colors, so it is really, really beautiful outside.

Unfortunately, I've had to spend the bulk of every day working -- but I have been able to get on my bike and to walk outside a bit each day.

Tomorrow, I also get to spend the day on the golf course, playing a round as part of a Community Support event sponsored by the company I work for....I'm very, very much looking forward to this. I really need a little time to be outside and to breathe.

The stress level has ratcheted up in a big way since Ironman.

I work for a big company. I've worked for this big company for a lot of years. I've been happy, productive and successful.

I've been lucky.

I found out shortly before the race that, in an effort to "reduce redundancies and increase efficiencies", that my position was "mapped" to a new work team. And, although I've been "mapped", I haven't yet been "selected", meaning I may have a job; I may not.

I didn't have a choice. The group I worked for didn't have a choice. I just got the call one day from HR and that was that.

On the one hand, I am grateful that I'm still in the game, so to speak. I haven't been "displaced". It is "business as usual" for the time being, until the yet-unsubstantiated "selection" process is defined.

But nothing about this is usual. I don't know what criteria will be used to determine if I have a job or not (meaning do I interview? Do I have a choice about the job? The work?). I don't know, if I get "displaced", what terms will be presented to help keep me afloat.

I've been told that I shouldn't worry. That with my talent, my skills and my abilities, that I'll have a job and all will be well.

Yet, every day that goes by, I find out about other talented, skillful colleagues have been offered a "package" and are out the door. Lesson: there are no guarantees.

I'm resentful because I didn't ask for this. I'm resentful because I'm worried and there are less qualified people that remain with the business that aren't in this position at all. I'm resentful because the recession, which was supposed to be over a long time ago, isn't. I'm resentful because the politicians just keep playing politics, instead of getting real work done.

(I mean really: debate of gay marriage? Why aren't they creating jobs? Looking at alternative energy? Looking at education reform? Changing any thing of real importance? WHY IS BACHMANN GETTING ANY ATTENTION at ALL?).

I know that I'm not the only person that has gone through this over the last few years. I have been lucky to have a job through some very rough economic periods. I'm lucky that I have no debt (outside a mortgage payment) and that Hubby's job seems secure for now. The best luck I have on my side, though, is my health, for without that, I'd be really in trouble.

I should know by the end of October which direction Compass will point me...I'll either have a job or I won't. I just have to hold on and to try not to let the stress get too much of me.

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In the midst of all of this, I decided to hire a new Coach --Actually, he is an "old" coach of mine. I used him when Nat and I trained for our first half ironman.

I've been lucky to work with a lot of really great coaches over the years. The coach that I used for the last two years is utterly awesome. Love him. But, I never felt that I was an athlete that was in his league. The most of his folks are podium finishers; die-hards; naturally talented.

I struggled this last year to get much attention from him and by the time Imoo rolled around, I was well trained, but felt incredibly detached from him, and honestly, that hurt a lot.

Right before I left for Madison, out of the blue, I received an email from my half-iron coach. He sent me good luck wishes for a great race.

When I was out on the run course, he was there, cheering with the crowds. He spotted me and came out to give me a great big hug. He knew, based on the clock, that I was cutting it close, but he gave me a little pep talk and sent me on my way.

When I got back to Minneapolis, after my DNF, I thought for a L O N G about what my plan for 2012 should be. I decided to go back to Greg. We started our training plan this week.

I guess what I've learned from this experience, that it is very hard to "fire" someone. I struggled for a long time about moving from one Coach to another.

When the time came, I just had to tell the truth, though. That it was better for me to work with someone that could provide me more attention; that worked more effectively with people of my ability and skills. That it was nothing personal.

Lesson learned: If I see HR show up at my office with "that look", I hope they can tell me the truth and not try to just cover the facts with a lot of pretty words.

Oh. And it's just business. It's nothing personal....

Changes, Recovery and Refocus

It certainly didn't take long for the season to start changing from summer to fall. The temps have dropped dramatically; leaves are starting to change and it is dark by 7:30 pm now.

Recover week means doing very little but resting, eating, sleeping and resting some more. I have to say that, while I'm enjoying some longer snoozes in the morning, I am looking forward to getting back to some easy "maintenance" workouts.

I'll go to watch my friend Mary's son play in his high school homecoming football game on Friday night, I'll golf on Saturday and on Sunday I plan to join some friends for what is sure to be one of the last open water swims for this year.

I can start doing some short runs again soon; won't be long before I get back on the bike, but really only just for fun now, as the 2011 season draws to a close.

I will do a couple other races this year: The Monster 10 miler; maybe the Reindeer Run 5K and maybe one on or near New Year's Day....

I'll also be able to register for Tri U Mah 2012 on October 1st and can doing some 2012 event planning soon, as a number of races I want to do have already landed on dates and some have early registration open.

I'm giving some thought to training plans for 2012 -- where to do Masters swims; training program and coaching options; race ideas. No decisions yet. Just kicking around some ideas.

Changes abound right now. Professionally, personally, seasonally and athletically. Should be interesting to see how they all unfold.